The Long Handshake of Hello

White bears

Do NOT try to think about white bears. Under no circumstances should you think about white bears.

Fans of Julie Tam will be glad to know that she has resumed blogging. She took down all the older entries so you’ll be browsing fresh, new content. And she is posting links to her broadcast reports on the blog, but the station she works for only keeps them up for 1-2 days.

Why be so cheap, Fox 41? I’ve taken longer than that to draw a breath and say, “Hi, there.”

She has removed all the links to her friends (boo! hiss! One of those girls picked some nice songs — I should have bookmarked her site). UPDATE: Nope. I looked at the wrong page. Julie still has friends. (Note: I had to remove the long-dead links.  Sorry.)

And moving on from the unavailable (she’s engaged, guys) Miss Tam, I have to say a little something about white bears. Wait, I’m trying not to think about white bears.

No white bears.

Do not think about ….

Well, Ken Lay died. I did not own any Enron stock nor did I play an Enron stockholder on television, but there was a lot of ill-will toward Mr. Lay around Houston — and some good will. How much he was responsible for the whole meltdown will probably always be a point of contention in the business history books. But having worked for a few personality-led corporations, I have to say that the corporate culture starts at the top.

My best wishes go to those who loved him and will miss him.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, a group of scientists want to construct a giant starshade to screen out light from distant stars so we can study the light from their orbiting planets. Sounds kind of cool, but what are they going to do when they find out someone at the factory stepped on a corner of the fabric three years after it’s been put into position?

Anyone here remember what happened with the Hubble Space Telescope? We had to send a shuttle up to fix it — more than once.

Waitaminnit. I see how this can spur space research. We’ll spend billions of dollars to send this space umbrella out beyond Pluto’s orbit and when we discover that it’s snagged on a hook or something, we’ll spend billions’ more putting together a long-range intra-system space craft capable of supporting human life in some abominable fashion for ten years. That’s about how long it would take to send out a repair man and his family.

Can you imagine the first exchange of signals after he arrives at the space umbrella?

“Houston. I need a larger screw driver….”

Ten years in space with your wife or girlfriend. Picture the backseat driving arguments.

Her: “You nearly hit that asteroid, dear. Please be more careful.”

Him: “Honey, it’s all run by computers. NASA plotted this trip out all the way to the umbrella.”

Her: “That’s why I stay by the emergency exit, dear. I’m part of plan C.”

Him: “What’s plan B?”

Her: “We flag down a passing UFO and ask for help.”

There are no white bears in space…so far as we know.